Monday's Musings: Powerful Christmas Quote by Winston Churchill

by Mary Denman  @MaryDenman

Christmas is a season not only of rejoicing but of reflection. ~Winston Churchill

These are powerful words spoken by a powerful man. 

Words that hold much truth. 

Christmas is a season of rejoicing, of celebrating Christ's birth, of sharing family time, of giving gifts of love. 

Christmas is also a season of reflection. Not the "have I been naughty or nice" kind of reflection. But the kind of reflection that goes deeper. The kind that makes you think about your family, loved ones, and about the past year. 

Monday's Musings: When You're not sure Where the Road is Taking You

by Mary Denman   @MaryDenman

Riding through the mountains recently taught me some profound lessons about life.

Have you ever been on a road when you're not sure where the road is taking you? Not the physical road necessarily, but the road your life is taking. 

You may have an idea of where you're headed. But the road changes or you make a wrong turn. Or maybe you're just along for the ride with someone else in the driver's seat. 

I know I've had times like that in life.

Monday's Musings - Mom's Watching Over Us

by Mary Denman
Twitter: @MaryDenman

This past weekend, I got to go visit my Daddy. I love getting to hang out with him. We sit a lot. And that's fine with me. 

Actually, on Saturday afternoon, while my husband, son and my brother and his kids all went to the movies, Daddy and I had a contest. He sat on the sofa at one end and I lay down on the other. We raced to see who fell asleep first.  

Daddy won, hands down. But I won for the longest nap! 

We had good North Carolina Bar-B-Que, banana pudding and delicious apples. We read through some of Mom's memories that she and written down. (More about those in another post.) 

We just enjoyed being around each other. As we prepared to leave, I asked my husband to take my picture with Daddy. That's when I saw it. Look in the background of our shot...there are pictures of my Mom on the mantel, smiling and beautiful. Right over our shoulders! 

You know, it feels as if she's still here. I can't believe it's been a year and a half since we lost her. 

I think about her every single day. I feel her love, her encouragement. I miss her for sure! But I love how deeply she's taken up residence in my heart. 

I do feel as if Mom is watching over us, cheering us on. Still loving all of us. 

For that, I am ever so grateful! 

Mary

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Monday's Musings - A New Year

A New Year is starting. 

I hope next year will be a little easier than last year. We buried my mom and hubby's dad two weeks apart. 

Then, my daughter got married. That was the highlight of the year for sure. But we had just buried my mom May 4 and my father-in-law on May 18. My daughter married June 2. Yes, it was bittersweet. 

One week later, my son had surgery. Two weeks after that, I had shoulder surgery. 

And now, I find myself on the cusp of shoulder surgery once again. My body doesn't seem to want to heal properly. At least I have a good surgeon. I'm thankful for that. 

By far, 2013 was a difficult year for me. 

But what amazes me is that I'm still standing. And it's not due to me. 

God has walked me through this valley. And He has provided comfort.

So once again, I find myself calling out to Him to get me through. To start the New Year out in His strength, not mine. 

I hope next year is easier. Who wants difficulties? No one I know. 

But I've learned that it's in the dark times when God's provision shows the most. 

My mom was a rock for me. I could, and did, talk to her and daddy about everything. Since my father-in-law was in hospice care, we knew his death was coming. And I talked to mom about it. She and I talked about her suffering. 

I have to say I'm so grateful for those conversations. 

Mom learned to lean in to God the more she suffered. She became more convinced He was in control, especially of her suffering.

And so, here I am, facing great physical pain. I'm honestly dreading it. I have to have this surgery to fix my shoulder. It won't be easy. But it is necessary. 

So, I'm realizing that if this pain draws me closer to God, then it's a good thing. 

I also want to end every year being closer to God than the last. 

That's been true for 2013. I'm closer to Him now than when I started. Even though the year involved great loss. And great joy. 

As I ponder next year, I hope once more that I grow closer to God. Through the ups and downs that will come. I just don't know what they are yet. But that's okay. I know someone who does. And He promises to never leave nor forsake me.  Deuteronomy 31:6

I'm clinging to that verse. 

What's facing you this year? Do you have a verse to cling to? 

My prayer is that you end 2014 closer to God and His love. 


Happy New Year! 

Monday's Musings - My New Normal

I'm living a "new normal."

It's not one I would have chosen, but here it is. 

I knew it was coming. 

Sort of. At least part of it. 

I'm learning to live without my father-in-law. And without my mom.

He had pulmonary fibrosis and was under hospice care. For almost a year. He shocked everyone by living so long. Especially hospice.... We were blessed to have so much time with him.  

I will always cherish his words of love and encouragement he spoke to me when I spent time caring for him. He was humble, quirky and loving. He was Pap Pap. I miss him.

It goes without saying how much I miss my mom. Her death was unexpected. 

My brain still has trouble processing everything. 

And so I find myself living in this "new normal". 

Again, it's not of my choosing. 

But I had a friend talking with me. She told me to write down things I was thankful for. And to look for how God works in this new normal. 

I have a much closer relationship with my daddy. We talk frequently. He was much quieter on the phone when mom was here. He deferred to her. That's my dad. Sacrificial. So now we have a new relationship. 

My marriage has been strengthened. My husband isn't a crier. But I am. My hubby knows I need to cry even if he doesn't. When I try to hold it in, he holds me and tells me to grieve. To let it out. That's good advise. We can't stuff grief. It only makes it worse. 

I'm learning to trust God to provide. 

My mom and I were in the middle of some conversations. Because my father-in-law was dying and we knew it, I was talking with my mom about how she handled her parent's deaths. I was in the sixth grade when her mom passed away. I was too young to talk with her back then. So I wanted to glean wisdom from my mom. To learn from her life. But then, she was gone. 

I was devastated. My rock was gone. We hadn't finished the conversation. 

Then, in two weeks, my father-in-law was gone. 

But in the midst of my sorrow, God whispered my name. He asked if I trusted Him. 

I realized I needed to trust Him. His timing. His wisdom. His love. 

So, I said out loud, "I trust you that Mom taught me everything she needed to teach me."

Then I asked God to fill in for her. You only get one mom. No one can replace her. But God can take care of me better than my mom did. And I'm learning that. It's also part of my new normal. 

While my new normal is fairly well defined, yours may not be. You may not even realize you have a "new normal". 

But my prayer for you is that you trust God with your situation. Ask him to provide for you where you are lacking. To send you people to love and encourage you. 

Say out loud that you trust him. 

And let me know how God works! 

With love, 
Mary

Monday's Musing - Lesson From a Bridal Shower

So, my daughter AnnaMarie is getting married soon. 

We're so excited! She and her fiance' are great for each other. And we're in the season of showers. Fun, fun!

Recently, one of her bridesmaids had a shower for her. Of course I took my camera along. 

My girl looked beautiful with her sash on. Then came the tiara. 







While my eldest daughter received her tiara, my younger daughter had a blast getting in the pictures where her older sister couldn't see. She photo bombed the shots. And they were hilarious. 

Monday's Musings - Seasons of Life - Pt. 1

Monday's Musings - Seasons of Life - Pt. 1


I love a change of seasons. I really do.

I lived in south Florida for years. I missed spring, fall and winter. Technically, Florida may have four "seasons", but when you can wear shorts 360 days a year, the seasonal changes are too subtle. At least  for me.

Now that I live in SC, I just love the four seasons. Each has its own distinct flavor. And they're about equal to each other in length where I live. But by the time one season gets a tad old, the next one peeps its head around the corner, promising change. I love that, too!

Spring shows up here on shoots of green with yellow flowers bursting into our brown world. I love all the colors of spring. Yellows, pinks, purples, whites and various greens. Including pollen green. Okay, so I don't like that color much.

Then summer enters quickly with deeper greens, reds and oranges. Along with high temperatures and bugs. Gotta love the south! We women don't sweat here. We glisten!!

When we think we can't take much more humid heat, the nights start cooling off and the leaves change to their autumn collection.  Browns, reds, yellows, orange... Once the temperatures cool down, we venture outside a lot more.

Then comes winter. Winters here aren't too hard. It's never really cold for more than a few days. (Although I would love  more cold!) People may laugh that 3 inches of snow shuts our city down, but we just don't have the equipment on hand to clear roads. Plus, you need more than one snow day a year to learn how to drive safely in the snow. So, it snows, things shut down. But then the snow is already disappearing by the next day and we're right back to life. Sigh. I could use a good snow day about now!


So, what can the seasons teach us? Well, the obvious comparison is that spring is like being born and enjoying our childhood. Lots of new experiences, excitement at every turn. Delight in all the changes.

Then, summer compares to our years when we find a career and have a family. We love to get out and play. Experience fun times together. Life still seems to hold all kinds of opportunities. The possibilities may still seem endless.

But eventually, fall sets in. We find ourselves in mid life. Health issues may crop up. Our parents age more than we'd like. We find ourselves getting tired more easily. How hard life has been up to this point may wear on us more than we want.

Finally, we enter our "golden years". Most of our parenting is done. We may have grandkids. If we've saved well, we can retire and travel or spend more time together with people we love. But we may definitely slow down.

Is this all there is to life? No. While the analogy fits, I believe that we can look at the seasons very differently and take strength from what they can teach us. Through out our lives, the season are constantly changing. And that can help us learn how to weather the storms and keep persevering as the bible says.

While I may be in the fall and in "mid life", I'm excited about the future. There are career possibilities opening up for me I never dreamed of. They are ministries opening up I never thought about. I may be slowing down a bit, but that's making me rather intentional in what I spend my time and energy on.

So come back next week for part 2. We'll look at how we sometimes feel stuck in one season. But there are some wonderful lessons to be learned while hanging out in the dreariness of winter. Or in the heat of summer. You know, the times in life where we want relief.

But for now, which season are you in?

Thanks for dropping by!

Monday's Musings - What Filter do You Use in Life?

What filter do you use in life?

You may not realize it, but we all have a filter. It's affected by many things.

How we grew up, who our friends were, what pain we've suffered, what joys we've shared.

But one of the biggest filters we have is what we believe. About ourselves, others and God.

Problems arise though, when we have a broken filter. And worst yet, is that we may not even realize it.

As a photographer, I know that my filter choice makes a BIG difference in the quality of my shots.
Look at these.

Isn't the purple just cool?

 This orange tint makes the photo feel much warmer than the purple above.

Notice how the blue makes the photo feel cold. And, it's harder to tell if was taken during the day or night.
 





The wrong filter can make taking photos tough. And a broken filter can ruin a perfectly good shoot. How do I know this? Just look at this...





Yep. Only a week after I had bought a new lens and filter, I fell on some wet concrete during a shoot and my camera went flying. It even took a shot midair just to taunt me.

I picked up my camera and tried to photograph something to see if the lens still worked. I found out that it couldn't take a picture. The thick, broken filter confused the lens so it couldn't focus on anything. Life was a blur to the camera.

That's when it hit me. We walk around with broken filters, still trying to make sense of our lives. But we don't have a proper focus. Often times, the pain I've gone through has affected my outlook on life. Sometimes, it's fear that affects me. Maybe it's loss. Or heartache. Or disappointment.

But it doesn't matter exactly what the broken filter is, not if it's changing my outlook on life for the worse.

For me, the only answer for a broken filter is to go back to the Bible and God. What does He have to say about my life, my pain, my sorrow, my joys? Because I often let the hard stuff get my focus off God.

Do I really believe God is in control of all my life? That He can bring good out of every situation? That since He forgave me, that I need to forgive others? That He will give me the grace to forgive?

Those are the questions I wrestle with. Honestly, I don't jump toward forgiveness every time. I struggle to forgive, to let go of pain.

But God is gracious to love me anyway and won't let me go just because I'm struggling. No, He tries to show me that my filter is broken. That I need to trust Him for each day.

And let me tell you, it's awesome to get the broken filter off and put the right one on. Look at this blue sky. That's the power of the right filter...a beautiful, clean, intensely colored shot.

So, what filter in your life is broken? Ask God to give you one that brings more color and beauty and meaning to your life.


Grace and peace,
Mary

Monday's Musings

I can make you a promise. 

You will encounter storms in life. No one's immune. We all go through them. 

The question is, how will you fare during them?

Right now, I'm in a stormy season of life. I can see the dark clouds looming. Both my parents and my husband's father are battling health issues. Some pretty serious ones. My father-in-law has lived longer than the doctors expected. We are so grateful. But the end is still coming. 

My mom is battling broken vertebrae and infections. My dad just had a seizure. He's never had one before. 

And I'm torn. 

I live 3 hours from my folks and just over 2 hours from my in-laws. I can't be at both places at once. 

And I have my kids to care for. To walk with through the valley of the shadow of death. This will be the first time they've lost someone close to them.

Sometimes the storms get old. We want a break. Relief. To come out on the other side. 

We will. But we don't know when. That's the hard part. We can begin to despair. To worry. To lose hope. To feel overwhelmed. 

I know. I've been there.

I have to admit, though, in the midst of all this, I'm strangely peaceful. The bible says we can have peace that passes understanding. I think that's what's going on with me. It sure isn't me who's making me peaceful. I'm really good at worrying.

But my circumstances are so hard, that I just know God's up to something. He doesn't give us more than we can bear. Although there are times we may think He has. 

It's during the trials, the storms, the pain, that we can learn to go to God for comfort. To ask what He wants us to learn. To ask that we live strong for Him. 

Eventually, the clouds will break. The storm will subside. 

And if we can look up, we may see a gorgeous rainbow over our rain soaked lives. Seeing it by our self is wonderful. But how much more when many others can see the rainbow and exclaim in excitement about how beautiful it is. About how God has worked through the storm.

I may have to put up pictures of rainbows around my house. Why? Because I want out of the storm like most people. 

That's not happening right now. So I need to keep my focus on the end result. On God. On eternity. 

And for me, the rainbow tells me that God will bring good out of the pain, the suffering, the heartache and the headaches. 

So, what about you? Are you willing to ask God for strength to make it through your storms? Have you seen the rainbow of comfort? 

I'd love if you want to share about a current struggle you're having or about a rainbow you saw after the struggle was over. 

And most importantly, remember that God's love for you isn't determined by whether or not your life is trouble free. No, His love is always there. Just sometimes we miss it. 

Praying for you to find strength to face another day. Another battle. 

And for a rainbow or two to appear above your rain soaked life. 

Mary

 

Monday's Musings

Man Down


One of my kids has been sick. For a while. 

Going to the doctor isn't fun. We can't seem to find answers. 

As his mom, I hate to see him hurting and suffering. I've even said I would take it from him if I could and suffer in his place. But that's not the way it works. 

That's when I thought about how God sees us. He is our Daddy, our Father. 

He hurts when we hurt. I know I hurt for my son. 

But my son's burden is not my burden. I can't take it away. But I'll share all of it that I can. I'll support, love and encourage him to seek God in the midst of this. 

I've been sick and suffered before. So I can point him to God as others have pointed me. 

Then, as he grows and matures and looks back, he can see how he was comforted and then comfort others. 

He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corintians 1:4

So even in the midst of the suffering and weariness, there is hope. There is a reason. There is a point to the trials. Maybe we really want God to just take it away. But in His wisdom, sometimes we have to walk through the valleys for a while. And then, in due time, we can comfort others who must walk through that valley, too. 

What burden can you share?

What valleys have you walked through? 

Are you still there or have you come out on the other side?

Praying for you as you read this.
Mary

Monday's Musings

We are fast approaching Thanksgiving. So I decided to show you a few of the people I'm most thankful. 

Here's my family. That's my wonderful husband of 25 years in the back. And my kids.

You know what I love about my family?

They love each other.

After dinner one night, I had my camera handy and was getting a shot of "the last supper" before my daughter headed off to college. Do you see how much fun they were having? They were joking and laughing. This picture just makes me smile.

And here are my boys wrestling with each other. Yes, the youngest two have to gang up on their big brother. They were having fun.

And I'm thankful for that.

I'm also thankful for music. My daughter just loves to go sit and play. She composes her own songs. I love listening to her. And so does one of our cats! A couple of my kids will just start singing. I love that, too.

I have five kids. My life is busy. But truthfully, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I have much to be thankful for. And a wonderful family is at the top of my list!

Take a few minutes to think about what's important in life and what you have to be thankful for.

And I'd love to hear what YOU are thankful for! 

Monday's Musings

In Need of a Solid Foundation

My house taught me a lesson recently.

An expensive lesson.

You see, we had cracks in our house. And several of them. Both inside and out.

There was only one way to handle it. We had to shore up our foundation.




So, I called multiple companies to get various bids. They used different techniques to promise me that my house would stop settling. One company wanted to use a Bobcat, so I would have lost all my azaleas and I would have to have paid several hundred dollars extra for them to remove and put my deck back together. Let's just say, they didn't win my job.

The company I did choose uses people to dig holes. I got to keep all my azaleas. And, they only removed part of the deck. And put it back. Included in the price.





Then, for one morning, my kids and I learned what was going on beneath our foundation. Some holes were dry. The next hole, two feet over had water in it. No wonder we had settlement issues!

What did I learn? That you have to have a solid foundation to have a solid building. I spent a lot of time and effort figuring out what the best course of action was to stabilize the foundation of my home.

Stop and think. If your house had cracks, you, like me, would put considerable effort into correcting the problem.

But do we notice the cracks in our lives? Do we put together that some of the problems in our lives are the result of a weak foundation?


Jesus talked about building a solid foundation. And that means in him. That means knowing the truth. That God does love us. That he will forgive us everything and anything when we ask.  That we need to forgive others.

I don't want a foundation based on me. I want something much more solid. I want a foundation built on truth.

I'm going to go dig into my bible, and find a solid foundation.

Monday's Musings

What perspective do you view life from?

I've learned in photography that perspective makes a big difference in the shots I take. And I started thinking, the same is true in life.

 
My perspective about life events sure does make a difference in how I look at my life and respond to it.
 
So how does this work? Well, let's look at a common flower. The iris.

They bloom in the spring and only in the spring. They come in waves of beauty. This is how we tend to see them, colorful blooms in the midst of lots of green leaves. This is the normal, or average view of them. And unless they happen to be in our own yard, we often just see them in passing.




 



But what happens if we stop and get a little closer? What if we actually examine them? They are beautiful flowers full of amazing details. Yet, you have to take the time to look for those details.












So how can perspective make a big difference in how we view a common flower? Well, have you seen many pictures of irises with blue sky in the background? Probably not often. Why? Because a photographer has to get down on her hands and knees to get the shot. And sometimes she has to take several shots to get a really good one....



Do you get the drift? Same flower, three different views....

I'll be the first to admit that I often don't stop to think about what's really going on in my life and in my heart. I'm just cruising through, catching glimpses of beauty. Grabbing a bible verse here and there. Or, if things aren't going my way, I may not even catch the beauty.

But sometimes I do stop and focus closer in. I see where God is working in my life. But until I stop, I'm still missing some important details in my life that God wants to teach me.

Sometimes those details are best seen while I'm on my hands and knees, looking up to God.

It may not be my first choice, but when I find myself on my knees, it can provide a pretty unique view of life. 

Have a blessed day and stop to see how God is working in your life.

Mary

Monday's Musings - Doors to Nowhere

I recently visited an old mill.

Something interesting caught my eye.

Doors to nowhere.

When this old building was functioning as a mill, the doors made sense. They probably had stairs that took a worker safely down from the second story of the building to the ground below.

But not any more.

The stairs are long gone.

One misstep out of these doors and you could end up with broken bones.

And there were multiple doors to nowhere.

Mary Denman Photography

But I thought about what it would be like to be on the other side, trying to get out of the building. Using one of these doors would be a bad idea. A really bad idea.

But it would seem okay from the inside since you wouldn't know the stairs were missing.

Then I thought about God and his foresight.

I may see a way that seems good to me. And then I may get frustrated because the way I want to go is blocked.

There may be a really good reason why God blocks my path. He is trying to stop me from making a bad choice or decision.

He will love me nonetheless, but I need to trust him that he is looking out for what's best for me.

And that may come in the form of a locked door.

So when your brain is saying, "I know where I'm going and can get out of this myself," take a deep breath when you find your way blocked.

God may be saving you from a really bad fall.