Monday's Musings - Living with Loss

In the living of life, we have struggles. Some of them are nameless. 

Others definitely have names: depression, divorce, disease, disappointments, defeat, death. The list could go on. But there's one struggle that kind of overrides many of the struggles we go through.

It's called loss.

Loss of a dream. Loss of hope. Loss of health. Loss of a career. Loss of a person. 

I think it contributes to the feeling of mid-life crisis. Or when we go through a season of feeling down or discouraged, but can't put our finger on what is really at the root of it. 

Losses don't have to be the "biggies" like the death of a loved one. 

They can seem small and insignificant. Like the realization that you may never get to take a cruise that you dreamed of as a kid because of the realization of a lack of funds you have as an adult. 

Maybe you wanted to be a writer but find your creative well dried up.
Maybe you've been rejected. Then you figure "they" must be right. And you give up on your dreams. 

Maybe you never found your "soul" mate and never married. 
Or you thought you did and then they broke your heart. 
Or you married them, only to end up disillusioned years into your marriage. 

We all go through losses. 

I'm in that season of life. 

As you may know, I lost my mother May 1, 2013. 
On May 17, 2013, I lost my father-in-law. 

Two weeks later, our eldest daughter married. Let me say clearly: we love our new son-in-law. We are so happy to have him in our family and completely support their marriage. 

But the deaths of two such precious loved ones was difficult so close to the wedding. 

Then I had major surgery two weeks after their wedding. 

Yep, my cup runneth over. But not in a way I would have chosen. 

And that's led me to think about the past year of my life. I traveled 6 - 7 times to another state to take care of my mom and father-in-law as they had medical situations. 

I have five kids. 

My father-in-law was in hospice care. My mom was not. We juggled caring for our parents for a year. 

No wonder I'm exhausted. That I'm sad. That I miss two dear people that I love.  

Often, when we go through losses like this, we ask the BIG question. 

You know, the one we say, "God, why?"

So far I haven't really asked Him that. I have decided that as hard as things in my life are right now, others over time have suffered far greater losses. And they made it. With their faith in tact. 

My mom and father-in-law were two of them. (But that's a musing for another Monday.)

Oddly, I've reached the conclusion that as sad as I am, that as hard as this is, God believes in me. He believes that this will not destroy me. That He can carry me through. That He can use this in my overall life. 

If He didn't, He would have had it happen in a very different order. 

The fact that the timing is so painful just makes me believe more that God has reasons for why this is happening. 

And that gives me peace. 

I still hurt. I still miss mom terribly. She was the most gracious, sweet woman you could meet. Every card sent to my dad says so. Literally. I hope to be more like her each day. Well, more like Christ in her. He made her who she was. And she'd be the first to tell you that. 

But do you know how comforting it is to think that the God of the universe knows that with His help, I can get through this very difficult season of life?

That blows me away. But I'm not that special. 

He has the same faith in you. It may feel like it's more than WE can handle. That's true. I can't handle this on my own. But to have God working in me to get through it? 

That's amazing. That's peace. That's comfort. 

So where in life are you struggling or dealing with loss? 

How can you see God working in this difficult area of your life? Having faith that HE can get you through. 

May God bless you with His grace. 

Monday's Musings

Man Down


One of my kids has been sick. For a while. 

Going to the doctor isn't fun. We can't seem to find answers. 

As his mom, I hate to see him hurting and suffering. I've even said I would take it from him if I could and suffer in his place. But that's not the way it works. 

That's when I thought about how God sees us. He is our Daddy, our Father. 

He hurts when we hurt. I know I hurt for my son. 

But my son's burden is not my burden. I can't take it away. But I'll share all of it that I can. I'll support, love and encourage him to seek God in the midst of this. 

I've been sick and suffered before. So I can point him to God as others have pointed me. 

Then, as he grows and matures and looks back, he can see how he was comforted and then comfort others. 

He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corintians 1:4

So even in the midst of the suffering and weariness, there is hope. There is a reason. There is a point to the trials. Maybe we really want God to just take it away. But in His wisdom, sometimes we have to walk through the valleys for a while. And then, in due time, we can comfort others who must walk through that valley, too. 

What burden can you share?

What valleys have you walked through? 

Are you still there or have you come out on the other side?

Praying for you as you read this.
Mary

Monday's Musings

Some days, my heart is heavy.

Saying goodbye to a pet snake

It may be from big things like watching a loved one dying. Or it could be watching some one we love struggle with chronic illness. And feeling helpless for them. By being separated from our loved one in their time of need. Or suffering ourselves.

Little things can add up too. Disappointment over plans gone awry. Pets that get sick. Children that are sick. Changes in jobs, or location. Losing a friendship. Hurtful words spoken in anger.

While we want our lives to be happy and fun all the time, that just doesn't happen.

I'll be the first to admit that I'd rather be happy all the time. But that's not quite reality.

So what is reality?

Life hurts at times. Deeply sometimes.

But as a Christian, we have a hope that doesn't make sense. You see, we have a high priest who came to earth and suffered for us. For you. For me.

He put on an earthly body and felt our pain. Physical pain during the crucifixion. Emotional pain of betrayal. Hatred at the hands of those he came to save. He offered forgiveness for those who murdered him.

So when we suffer, or are sad and disappointed, it's easy to feel alone. Separated. Cut off.

But remember that there is One we can always cry out to. One who understands. One who understands our deepest pain, hurt and shame. And the One who can forgive and comfort us.

Ephesians 4:14-16
14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

So if your heart is heavy, turn to the One who can comfort you. The One who loves you more than you can comprehend.

Wordless Wednesday

Okay, so this week isn't completely wordless. Anyone feel like they're weathering storms in life right now? This is a reminder of the beauty to be found in the midst of the storm. (And yes, I am talking to myself as well.)

Amazing Lightning Storm

Lightning Display

If you leave a link, I'll be happy to pop by and visit your blog and leave a comment as well.
(It may take me a couple of days, but I'll get there!)
Have a blessed day and thanks for stopping by!

Sand and Struggles

Several years ago, life took a toll on me. I had five kids under the age of ten, had moved to a new house and had a husband who was working long, long hours. My husband had so much stress from work that I tried to be his helper and take care of everything so he wouldn’t have to. Insurance, car repairs, home schooling. You name it, I did it. Then throw in health issues for me and what happened? I grew exhausted.

I felt like I was trying to climb a mountain made of sand. Three steps forward, one slide back. The wind whipping around, stinging my face. Legs crying out for relief. But I had to keep going.

At times like that, the inclination is to feel so alone. Isolated. I did.

We tend to focus on ourselves and forget God's eternal perspective. But if we stop and take a look around, we can see other footprints. Footprints of those who have climbed the same hill. We can be honest and humble about our struggles and ask for help—help from others who have made the same journey. We can learn from their mistakes. They can step into our lives and encourage us that we will make it to the top and that the reward is worth it.

But, ultimately, we need to seek help from the One who promises not to forsake us. It may feel like God abandons us in the hardest times of our lives, but sometimes that’s because we don’t understand what that promise means. I certainly know I’ve been guilty of feeling forsaken when times are hard. But that’s a shallow, self-centered view of God—what can He do for me?

I’m learning that the difficulties and struggles are the times when I can grow the most in my faith and see God’s hand at work more clearly. Unfortunately, I want comfort and ease. But nowhere in the bible does God promise a pain free life. He tells us that we will have trials and tribulations. Can we trust him to walk with us in those times? Yes. But that’s not natural. We need to ask for faith to believe. And we can learn so much about listening to him and looking for how he’s working in and around us.

And once he helps us conquer the obstacles and struggles, there is often a great reward he has waiting for us. New friendships, more faith, a deeper walk with him. The ability to seek out and comfort others who come behind us. That’s what living in fellowship with each other is all about.  

 

So where are you in your journey? Ask God to send you help and ask him to show you how to live strong through the trials. And when he gets you through them, you can celebrate how God has worked.