by Mary Denman
Last May, I went through one of the hardest times of my life. I lost my beloved mother unexpectedly.
Two days after the funeral, my husband was supposed to leave with our youngest son to go to marine camp for a few days. The timing was difficult. But I chose to let them go. I didn't want my grief and sorrow to stop my son from going on a trip he had looked forward to for months. So off they went.
I was having trouble sleeping. I was grappling with the fact that my mom was gone. It was lonely not to have my husband there, to have his shoulder to cry on.
One morning, I rose as the sun did. I sat in my family room by myself and cried. The sun started to peek above the neighbor's house. Sitting in the sunlight, through the tears, I remembered a verse from Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV.
22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end. 23 they are new every morning;
Picking up my camera, I took a few shots over the next half hour.
While looking at the pictures now, I remember the pain I felt. But more interestingly, I realize how far God has brought me.
The pain was fresh and raw a year ago. It felt overwhelming because I knew my father-in-law's death was also quickly approaching. I wasn't sure how I could handle more pain and grief from his death. Much less from my mom's death.
But that verse played in my mind that morning as I mourned mom's loss. The sunrise illustrated that the Lord's mercies are new every morning. I chose to cling to that.
While the pictures were taken through a dirty window, they are beautiful to me.
They remind me that God has gotten me this far.
That his mercies are new every morning.
That his love will see me through.
Yes, I still cry at times.
But not as frequently.
Not as intensely.
Of course I miss my mom and father-in-law.
But God is getting me through.
For that, I'm grateful.
I pray that if you're facing a difficult time, that you'll be able to see God's new mercies every morning. And if you want to share a time when God got you through, I would love to hear of it.
And who knows, maybe God has spoken to you through a dirty window...
Monday's Musings: His Mercies Never End @marydenman shares how God gives her mercy to deal with grief (click to tweet)